WASHINGTON - If you tuned into the very odd and terrible press conference President Donald J. Trump gave on Wednesday, you might be wondering, "Where is his nanny?"
After some exhaustive, investigative journalism, I have uncovered that Trump's nanny, Gretchen Gotchaham, one of the most world renown nannies, had tendered her resignation letter shortly before that press conference.
Citing personality difficulties and an excessive number of temper tantrums, Nanny Gretchen was unable to aid the situation despite her many, many years of expertise.
"I am literally on the verge of tears," she replied to one reporter. "Nothing seemed to work. He is beyond saving at this point. I literally can't even."
Candidate for Portland City Council District 5.
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